When you can't make it to a service

A close up of a white lily with red stamens.

While you’d like to be able to attend a funeral in person, this is not always possible due to cost or schedule conflicts. However, there are many other ways to pay your respects to the deceased, even if you are not able to be there for the funeral service itself. If you’re looking for an alternative way to honor the memory of a person who has died, consider these tips:

It’s never too late to send flowers. Sending flowers is a traditional and beautiful way to express your sympathy to the family of the deceased. You can send flowers or a lasting plant to the funeral home, to the house of worship where the service will take place or to the family’s home. Including a thoughtful note on the card is a warm gesture that the family will appreciate.

Sign the online guestbook. As people, we have become very accustomed to email and other electronic means for sending messages. Online condolences are often saved and read multiple times by loved ones and friends of the deceased, as it’s comforting to reread sympathy messages. Even short sentiments reminding the bereaved that their loved ones are remembered and that they’re not alone in their grief can be helpful.

Pay a visit to the family’s home. If you’re close to the family of the deceased but cannot attend the funeral, consider paying a visit to them at their home. It is often helpful to bring them food, as they will likely be drained and not up for cooking. You can also offer to watch any young children who live in the home so that the older relatives can run errands and attend to funeral-related tasks.

If you’re visiting the family’s home just to pay your respects, make it a point to keep your stay short. In some cases, the family of the deceased may feel pressure to entertain you while you’re visiting them, which can become a burden during this period of time. Stay just long enough to offer your sympathies, and then leave the family to spend some time together.

Offer kind words in a card. If you don’t feel close enough to the family to visit them at their home, there are plenty of other ways to express your sympathy. Consider writing a card that offers your condolences and that gives insight about what made the person who died an important part of your life. Families delight in hearing stories about how their loved one helped or inspired others, so these words will be much appreciated during this challenging and grief-filled time.

Make a charitable contribution. If the person who has died was passionate about a particular charity, consider making a donation to this organization in the person’s name. This is an effective way to keep the person’s memory alive, while improving the lives of those in need.

If you are unable to attend the funeral, try to be present at the visitation if possible. A visitation takes place prior to the service and is typically held in the evening. Even if you cannot attend the funeral itself, supporting the family at the visitation is an important gesture of respect. If you are not extremely close with the family, be sure to introduce yourself, thus preventing them from having to figure out who you are.

Regardless of whether or not you can attend the funeral service, there are plenty of ways to honor the memory of a person who has died while also providing their family with the support they need during the grieving process.

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Inflation affects nearly every part of daily life, from groceries and utilities to health care and housing. One area that is often overlooked is funeral and cremation planning. Like most services, these costs tend to increase over time. Preplanning provides a thoughtful way to prepare while reducing both financial and emotional stress in the future. More people are choosing to make arrangements in advance, not only to ensure their wishes are clearly known, but also to help protect their families from rising costs and difficult decisions during an already emotional time. The Reality of Rising Costs Funeral and cremation services include many components influenced by inflation, such as professional care, facilities, transportation, materials, and regulatory requirements. As these expenses increase, waiting to make arrangements can result in higher costs for families who may be unprepared to manage them, both emotionally and financially. Planning ahead allows you to make decisions calmly and deliberately, rather than facing rushed choices during a time of loss. Addressing Today’s Prices One benefit many people appreciate about preplanning is the ability to address pricing in advance and reduce uncertainty about future costs. Preplanned arrangements may be funded in full or paid over time, giving you the flexibility to choose an option that fits your budget and personal situation. This approach helps make planning more approachable and manageable. To help protect pricing, arrangements are typically financially secured through full payment or an approved payment plan. This helps ensure that the services you choose today remain in place in the future, even as costs change. Reducing Financial Stress for Loved Ones One of the most meaningful benefits of preplanning is the consideration it shows for those you care about. When a death occurs, families are often required to make many decisions in a short amount of time. Having arrangements already in place removes much of that burden. By planning ahead, you relieve your loved ones from financial uncertainty and clearly document your wishes. This allows them to focus on honoring your life and supporting one another instead of worrying about costs or decisions. A Thoughtful Part of Long Term Planning Preplanning final arrangements is similar to creating a will or setting aside savings. It is an important step in long term planning. It gives you the opportunity to take control, ask questions, and make informed choices without pressure. Many people find comfort in knowing their plans are documented, their preferences are clear, and inflation is less likely to affect the value of the arrangements they have chosen. Peace of Mind for Today and Tomorrow Ultimately, preplanning is about peace of mind. It provides reassurance that your wishes are understood, your family is supported, and important details are handled thoughtfully. If you have been considering planning ahead, our team is here to share information, explain options, and answer questions whenever you are ready. A simple conversation today can bring comfort and confidence for years to come.

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What to Wear to a Funeral Service

July 24, 2025

Attending a funeral or memorial service can stir up many emotions, and for some, one of the first questions that comes to mind is: What should I wear? While traditions around funeral attire have evolved, dressing appropriately remains a way to show respect—for the person who has passed and for their loved ones. Whether the service is formal, casual, religious, or a celebration of life, here are a few thoughtful guidelines to help you choose what to wear. 1. Stick to Neutral, Conservative Colors Black is the traditional color of mourning in many cultures, but it's not your only option. Other respectful colors include navy, gray, deep green, brown, and muted tones. Avoid bright colors, loud patterns, or anything that draws unnecessary attention unless the family has requested otherwise. Tip: Some services may invite guests to wear the deceased’s favorite color or dress casually—check the obituary or invitation for guidance. 2. Dress Modestly and Neatly Funeral services are somber occasions, so choose clothing that is clean, pressed, and conservative: For women, options include a modest dress, blouse with slacks, or a skirt paired with a cardigan or blazer. For men, a dress shirt with slacks, a suit, or a sport coat with a tie is appropriate. 3. Footwear Matters, Too Choose closed-toe shoes that are comfortable, especially if you'll be standing or walking at a graveside service. Simple dress shoes, loafers, or flats work well. Avoid athletic sneakers or flip-flops unless the service is explicitly casual or outdoors. 4. Consider the Location and Weather The setting of the service can influence your outfit: For outdoor or graveside services, wear weather-appropriate clothing and shoes that can handle grass or gravel. Bring an umbrella or coat if needed. Dark outerwear is always a safe choice. In a place of worship, modest attire is often expected regardless of the season. 5. Keep Accessories Simple This is not the time for flashy jewelry or bold accessories. Choose understated items that won’t distract from the purpose of the gathering. 6. What About Children? Children should also be dressed neatly and conservatively. Simple outfits in neutral colors are best. If unsure, dress them as if attending a formal family event or church service. 7. When in Doubt, Dress Up a Bit It’s always better to be slightly overdressed than too casual at a funeral. If you’re unsure about the dress code, err on the side of formality. A respectful appearance helps convey sympathy and support. What you wear to a funeral doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive—but it should reflect care, humility, and consideration. Remember: your presence is what matters most